2 days ago, 2nd July, was the "first anniversary" of my working life.. time passes like shutters speed x10000000....., and with just a blink of the eyes, one year has passed... what i have gained from this one year of working? frankly speaking and sad to say, not very much... but knew that things are never as simple as i initially started off as a noob (though i am still a noob now), and there are many many kinds of pple ard.. even more different kinds than in those during sch days.. wahaha.. it sounds like working life sux .. or probably this current job isn't the ideal job that i am looking for or want to do..

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and these days i am super duper emo.. probably PMS, but i realised that i am somehow suffering from "depression"... yeah i believe "depression is the word... coz i googled online and check for the symptoms of depression.. and i have experienced most of them or if not 50% of the symptoms.. my boy said that i am crazy to go googled such stuff, probably indeed i am crazy.... but if i can still "happily" typing all these sh*t, i should be doing fine, i guess.... however I have to the extent of tearing when on the bus ride home, while listening to a mixture of sad and happy songs.. how terrible..

my inner self knew about the things that are happening ard me, but i have no idea of how to handle certain stuffs, to the extent that i start to avoid.. and i hate it.. it feels horrible.. with fear, worries and sadness engulfing me... i really dunno wat will happen next, and i am scared to know the outcome, afraid the outcome will turn out worse and ugly.. and i am afraid to even make the 1st move to give it a try.. sigh.. i believe once again, i might be thinking way too much and giving myself unnecessary stress..

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